one in or is it (of) a billion (Intervention)

unbearable school girl tears fall apon me-



This weekend I will be going home
to visit my sister and her new
love. I am extremely happy for her
and she truly deserves it, but I must confess
to you I am scared of many things and having
doubts about my departure.

I believe that seeing them together, will make me
smile more than make me sad, I think it will feel
like a family, but that is what frightens me- will
he sit me done for an intervention like some sunday night movie
(like a brother)- letting me know
that the man I call love, is not a love at all-
I already having trouble breathing just thinking of the conversation
how i would like to argue back, but I won't, and I will see any traces
of pride that I desperately tried to hold on too disappear and I will melt and my heart will make it's
final break.

Please do not get me wrong I know I live in the land
of make believe where the man who loves me more than
anyone-who thinks I am made from his imagination, that
he would have loved me at any age, is the same man who
I have never done so many things- a man who erases me
at night and weekends- he will say things like I thought about
you the whole time..and don't go to mongolia without me- and we
will go on lots of drives and walks-and- and

so you see I am aware of the my make believe, but it is going to hurt
like hell to hear out loud how he is just for pretend and I know
I will not be able to argue, because they will all be right about my make
believe man...........I can't even breathe. and I think this post has just wiped out
any traces of pride................