when we leave our garden

tears fall, memories play like a silent movie
and the wind becomes a violin.

seeing clearly

is something that comes and goes, and
comes again...........and goes.......and

talk to her

a conversation

setting friday at midnight on cresent street in Montreal

She to herself " these people are gorgeous and stylish, do I still look like them
or have i lost the montreal thing, can they see that I live in us?

he interrupts her thoughts " is everything okay"

she " yes and you"

he " this place is crazy, wow"

she " yes. but alive-it must be graduation or something?"

He looks around- there is so many pretty woman to stare at, his eyes are wide open
(cresent street is the see and be seen place-glam-money- sexy)

He " are you okay"

she " yes, it just that I think i lost that .....you know"

he " lost what"

she "nothing love"

after a few hours of walking around- they are now in the car again

he "I am glad we stopped"

she " me too, i think i lost it- i am ordinary now, they are hot"

( i never think that way, never did- but somehow my self esteem took a dive when
someone close- well maybe not so close showered me with compliments more he said I was beautiful
more my self esteem fell- i realized they were words that meant nothing to me because it wasn't important who said it but how I felt, but someone told him that's how to get the girl- and it was as if i was no longer beautiful unless he said i was-)-it makes sense in my head( p.s.. this is a different person than the he i am having a conversation with.

he " we will never be what we were , we are older now they are young
and , i saw alot of legs tonight nadia, alot- but I only saw one face.

shall we run away

thank you for the letter Monsieur

it would be nice to stare at the sky

by your side, to hear your voice for

the very first time again...but i am

afraid that I am better with my head in the clouds

then  with my feet on the ground!

Rain for week? did it look like this cher ami.

one year ago

 Telemachus

something about always have been

I am

and always will be

I wish I could climb a tree right now, run thru the fields
and play hide and seek. eat berries right off the bush and
swim in the lake.

delicate as if it was made of paper

she moves

i miss Jacob & Porter my companions
their is a lot of regret and I believe karma came into play
i am not sure why I write this.

I fell asleep and dreamt about jacob.........and realized
I am having trouble letting go.

knowing I let them down.

when the rain turns you upside down

today i let the rain fall, at first i rushed around trying to run from
it, then, i slowed down lingered then eventually stopped. My shirt, shoes,
jeans and hair soaked......but the sun shinning- i knew the last two days i spent apologizing
owning my mistakes where behind me..........

can i just say how wonderful it felt playing in the rain..........it felt great!

she continues

a minute after i posted the post below - hail balls
started falling from the sky and the sun is shining!
okay maybe it is trying to tell me something!

I am like a kid in the rain for sure!!!!

thunder, lightning and heavy rains I used to think
they where ment just for me- that nature was telling me not
too ignore the path it wanted me too take...

Yesterday I watched the sky light up and felt the rumbling
that came before the rain- it had nothing to say to me specifically
and I liked it.

a stroll among the blooms

part of this stroll

when love takes flight

My biggest fear is that I will do less than 

I am capable of

delicate she fades

she looks around, it is all very different, nothing left to hold unto.
if she is to touch it, it would end quickly.........so she looks at it like it
was a lesson prepared for her, but she refuses to look deeply because she believes
it would lose all meaning.

Last night I found myself taking a drive to the ocean, after a meal
with a friend we decided to walk. I felt my bare feet on the sand
and the waves crashing at my feet, I felt my heart lighten and a
smile come to my face. I was happy, i knew it, i recognized it in fact
I even giggled and twirled. The water was so crisp and perfect.......I knew I wanted
to do this again and again. I knew that I had shed a non-essential, because my happiness
felt way beyond skin deep.


*the picture above is from my trip in St.croix- i did not have my camera on hand last night
there was not a cloud in the sky last night- just stars plenty of start

Besides the noble act of getting things done,

there is the noble art of leaving things undone.

The wisdom of life consists in the 

elimination of non- essentials.

Lin Yutang.

they live in the garden

see more here

tiny little happenings

Monday

see more images here

I crave oranges
i never buy oranges
why i wonder?
cause i surely wish i did
i went to the market this evening
and bought two things of blueberries
two things of raspberries(i hear they have some odd side affects)
but no oranges

when the clouds come to your window

it is impossible to eat just a few raspberries

the rain

something special happens to the apartment in the rain
the amount of light, the quietness calms me. I don't want to leave it
not today. I look thru the windows into the garden it is greener
than i have seen it..but inside, it is as if today the rain has paid me a visit,
as if today it has made me feel at home.

jeune roi

detail homme

en hiver

I am in love with this work by artist Alexandre Day

Breathing

You go to take a breath and you notice something different
you walk around not knowing what that difference is......
and then it comes to you- your breath does not get cut
off from a pain in your heart....

I know what the worst case scenario might be
and it is okay.