saturday road. - I am going on an adventure, the open road. A small one, just a day really but life can change in a minute so image a whole day full of minutes…..
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
i was just sitting relaxing, almost
enough to fall asleep when i starting thinking
about things. things like how i will never be a child sitting
in the back of my parents car again, how i will never have jacob
and porter by my side, how love will never be what i had dreamt about,
how i wish i could go for a drive with you jacob, how i wish
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
I often run the other way
from corporate events, but
today I shot for a company I shot for last year.
It is a few days before the flower show ( I have been working
on it like mad) I found myself with camera in hand. I
have to admit I kinda like having a yearly appointment like this
one. In fact for the last three years of the flower show I have gotten into a car
accident, this year was no exception, I am told I should highly consider a cab!
I like working and sometimes a corporate Giant is run by good people with
family ethics and they do well and do good. Even though I do not like shooting
such events I liked today. I did
yesterday I did not recieve any, but this is not a complaint!
The last two weeks I have received a tropical bouquet from
a friend and a bouquet of white tulips(my favorite)from another. When
I got home last night I cleaned my house, and then in a saucepan
i put cloves. orange peels, cinnamon , water. I brought it to a boil and
let it evaporate in the air ,the house smelled wonderful.
I looked at the tropical bouquet that was sitting on my coffee table,all flowers needed to be tossed
except for two beautiful specimens of ginger, the hottest pink i have
ever seen and two mahogany banana leaves. Then I looked at the
bouquet of white tulips 6 very delicate tulips remained. I combined
the flowers, the new bouquet looked beautiful-it truly it did.
I took photographs
of course, but somehow felt like i need to sketch what I saw so I did.
I had the loveliest night, a bouquet of flowers, a sketch, a house that smelled
like heaven and sophie to make me smile.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
I could write about many things
but I choose this story because
it chose me.
I was in second grade the teacher as she often did,
opened the floor to questions. Classmates
would ask a wide variety ranging from nature
to science silly to the intelligent..when a student asked
"why does Julie wear that scarf/bandana around her
head" the teacher said that she would answer that
one on another day. The next day I sat next to Julie
on the bus, and she asked if I would like to come
over one day and play, sure i said and started playing with her from then on.
Julie would not be in school for days at a time...
Julie had cancer. Although my parents did their best to explain
I think for me, it was simply; Julie has something that made her
loose her hair and stay home at times.
One weekend just before Valentines day I walked to Julie's after
school for a planned sleep-over. Arriving at Julie's house
her mother greeted me at the door and said that there had been a change of plans
and then she drove me home. Julie died the very next day on Valentines day.
A week had passed by when the teacher said that she had something to give us.
She told us how Julie had made hearts for everyone. The teacher called each student
one at time and handed them a hand colored paper heart, she was done calling out
names when I realized that mine was not to be called . I was very sad. When class was coming to an end
the teacher called me to her desk and handed me a very large paper heart that Julie had made for me.
Julie only had time to color it halfway......
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
do you mean like this....do you
today, I got to see you and you
and her and you and them and you
today I was me, the me I understand,
the me I am comfortable with. It was the
i , that was happy to be there creating, planning
cultivating, building, designing....it was me
I heard you laugh again, it was I that was happy
again.........this is me when I am wool and wool
Monday, February 11, 2008
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
Pour moi l'amour est quelque chose
qui cogne à ta porte et te demande ton
coeur, tes poumons, tes oreilles et des fois tes yeux
quand tu donne tout, tout est mis dans une boîte
puis un marteau et des clous...et voila tu ne peux plus
pour moi monsieur l'amour vit dans mes photos
et dans des mots et oui dans mes rêve....je ne veux rien.
personne vivant dans cette société ne pourra comprendre comment
mon coeur est fabriqué, de plumes et de papier......
mais je sais donner..des fois j'ai tellement d'amour
à donner que je me sent noyer........
j'aimerai enlever tes clous, même si
moi même je suis enterré
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
This evening I went to see a film
The Savages it is about a brother
and sister who put their father in
a nursing home.....
I started to think about getting older
and why is it that the end our life
is spent in such a place. I wondered what
if it was different, what would I choose and how
would I choose to live the last days of my life.
It would be different for everyone I know. I started to think
about dimentia and what if it was caused by the fact
that no one wanted to listen, that we had no more self
esteem, striped from titles and tired bones..so we choose to forget in order to stop the
lonelyness, the emotional pain and eventually we forget all together...
what if it was different, but how....what would I choose
when having conversation we always seem to talk about
the hospital bed, Burial or cremation, organ donor or not
but what about the nursing home-we always look the other
way even for those who have loved ones there already we just except it and
feel sad..but perhaps now is the time to change
those places, the time to make such a place a place for living
not for dying...
what if it was different, but how...what would i choose
Monday, February 4, 2008
it is february and there is no
snow to cover the ground. I find
myself walking in the yard and spotting
little bits of life that are emerging. I see
green underneath leaves, next to stones,
at the foot of the apple trees as they too begin
to bud...life is growing
and perhaps with it, my ideas begin to bud giving
life to my dreams..
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
well the yard is lit by candlelight
the fire is roaring and giving off
the most beautiful smell....the weather
could not be better for it, people begin to gather, i like the
preparation; food, music, setting the mood
placing everything in the right place-it is
very romantic- but now I sit here at the computer
typing away about what is happening in my yard,
i should be out there welcoming people i am good host
I am...but I ask myself now what is it that has me
retreating....my answer is my anonymity- i am not ready to
let it go.....the risk always to great .......i like to document
such things, to observe and listen but not to answer......
but I am a good host so I must end this note now