the rock and the butterfly

Chère maman...je me trouve fatigué peut être c'est le ciel gris ou la pluie ou en essayant de prendre des desicions est une position fort/dur comme une roche, je me trouve fragile comme un papillon je doit me repose pour un petit moments. même d'écrire des postes. s.v.p. pardonne moi.

Childhood

I remember when as a child
I would pretend to be able to control
the street lights. I would pretend i could change
the color from red to green than yellow, sometimes
I would count and swear that when I hit ten it would change
to green. As an adult I realize that I have the ability to change
many things, even control them. This weekend I believed I had to let
things take their course, but today I realize I have the ability to turn that
street light to red so 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 TEN it is red and I come to complete
stop and that is okay.

Study Of light 7:12 am

The pursuit of light brings me happiness.
I chase it, spot it and sometimes it shines
on me when I need it the most. The study of light
has been something dear to me with no end in
sight for now. it is natural light I have been capturing but I know that
the magic of electricity, the glow on someone's
face by candlelit can be breath taking so I hope to add
a few those images soon. It is monday and I am always happiest on monday.

Happy Things

I am happy when I take a walk
thru Boston Commons and find
pieces of broken china in the ground
(they are digging up and putting new irrigation
systems) I must have found 30 pieces.

I am happy when I walk with Sophie on Newbury street
and she is perfectly well behaved.

I am happy when I discover a store that carries
only handmade green objects. and still don't buy anything.

I am happy when the meter maid finds
my keys in the ignition with the car running
door opened, leaves a note instead of towing
the car-thank you.(he left them not I)

I am happy when the sky is grey and rain
is falling but I feel like the sun Is shinning bright
in the apartment

I am happy when I wake up and find
a good morning email from mum.

I am happy when I feel new life in something
old.

An evening's drive (two)

I spotted her sitting in tall grasses
by a swamp near the highway. I took many shots
then put my camera down and watched her
as she gracefully went about.

an evening's drive

Since I was a little girl I have always loved going for
a drive, i think i got that from my mother. she would often
take me with her when she needed to clear her head,
find inspiration or simply to calm down. My love of
driving has stemmed from what I learned while sitting next to her. A second before I was allowed to drive (parents gave permission to drive at 15-i know)
i would go on the longest rides sometimes to escape, sometimes
for inspiration,revelation but mostly for solitude and reflection.. I can not begin to tell you
what I have seen, felt and understood from those drives except to say
only the back country mountain treks, my solitude dives in the ocean or
my swims in the lake have come close.

Last night around 5:30 I went for drive with the purpose of getting
to a family dinner, but what I missed along the way was the sign that
said this road will feel like heaven...my version of it anyways.

what moves me

In my life I have found passion
and inspiration in many things
I have often been moved by something
painful, haunting and full of malancholy- but today
and tomorrow I was wondering if
you could play something full of loveliness,
something bright and beautiful. I would like
to be moved by happiness.

Study of light 11:07 am

Bats Perish, and no one knows why

I know most people are scared of them
in-fact looking at them up close I can see
why some people would be afraid.
I on the other hand, have a fondness
for them. When I was in my early twenties
and living in England I decided to spend
a summer month in Cornwall ( the english
riviera) but it was to be the kind of summer
that only a student with very little
money could experience. I often
think to myself thank goodness I did not have an abundance of
money on many of my travels.., many of the most
amazing adventures and experiences only took place due to the
lack of funds......

I did not have very much money
so I would spend the night sleeping on the beach and because the sun
rose before I did, I would sleep with the top part of my body in a cave-
Yes- a cavern that housed bats.( FYI: in England specially area's
by the sea the're is public shower buildings scattered everywhere)
In the evening I would watch the bats come out and this is what
i imagined their world to be; they were like children who were not able
to come out iduring the day, forced to stay in the darkest of places
while all the other creatures moved about in daylight. When night fell
the bats would fly out, just like children would come rushing out of school
at recess to play. I think the fact that they are so tiny
remind me of children playing. They would dive, hover, even dance and
make the sweetest sounds in the night time sky and yes they would come close very close
...but they got used to me and sometimes I almost believed they were including me in their games.

So when I read in todays New York Times article that an unknown disease has caused the death of five hundred thousand bats ...i was heartbroken.

noir et blanc

Love in strange places

Sunday Bliss

Somedays you wake up knowing
it is going to be a very special day.

I decided that I would go on a hike
I looked at the hiking books I had
and found the perfect trail, it was
the skyline trail, a seven mile loop in the blue hills..
it would be Sophie's first hike.
the sun was shinning, I had water, an
apple, a banana, Sophie's water and of course
my camera.
I felt so alive, the outdoors, the mountain
and my love for it was all in balance. The
air was so fresh, in the shade a little cooler
but i definitely felt my blood pumping.
At the top is when things
reached beyond my expectations....I never leave home without
my camera yet I did not make picture taking my priority, perhaps
in the back of my mind I would take a picture of sophie on her first
expeditions. OH what I found was the most stunning stone observatory
I took shot after shot and everyone I just knew was a gift.

What a lovely day in so many ways........nothing I write can really
explain what I experienced except to say..I WAS IN THE MOMENT
AND LOVING EVERY MINUTE and EVERY STEP .

Study of light 11:43 am

a delicate time

the find

I walked again on the farm and
look what I found- the beehive
that just a few days before i had
photographed had fallen. I have
always admired this artwork from
afar so I had no true understanding
of how delicate and complexe their( bees/wasp) work truly is.

It's magical to take a moment and really
think about how something that weighs no
more than 3 oz can house so much!

I wish you a happy spring
may the bud that is your dream
come to full bloom and for every
ten flowers you see may one have
your name on it.

may this spring be the beginning
of your orchard and may the sun
& the rain be the instruments
that bring to fruition your grace
and loveliness to those around you.

an evening's dream

Sometime between 1 in the morning
an 3 I had a dream, I was flying
a small plane. I can not tell you how
real it seemed. The best part is I took
myself to a city that was full of architecture,
art, street side operas, classical concerts...
it was the city of my dreams. Honestly I wish
you could have seen what my dream had allowed me to see.

For the few people that know me well, yesterday was not a
good day full of disappointment and revelations, but from very
early this morning I knew things would be different. Sophie
spent the whole night by my side, I realized that we have the same
movement patterns......I also realized that like Jacob before her
she has quickly become my true companion. At 4:30 am
we moved from the couch to the bed were their must have been at-least
a dozen birds singing..........it was truly lovely I believe they were
singing, " it is spring a new day, a new life fa-lal-la-la!
I am lucky for the lovely dream, friend and song.

to stand and stare

back at the path that just ended can be hard.
So sometimes you choose to stall, walk slower
even though with one giant step you can reach the end
you linger. trying hard to stay in a moment that
has already passed, you loose your way.
If luck is on your side you take the giant
step that ends it. now you gently turn your head forward
and stare into the future.

by the hem of my skirt

Today I want to tell you that I am inspired

I am inspired by the sun and how it plays
gently on my favourite things

I am inspired by the words I have stumbled across
by accident, but have led me here on purpose

I am inspired by the fact that I have dreams that soon
will come to fruition.

I am inspired that soon I will have new ones to create

study of light 10:04

Study of light 7:42 am

life begins to bud

It is a special time in the garden, i
wrote about this before but things
are budding.
tiny green stems emerge braking thru the earth, fighting obstacle
like old leaves and debris. I notice so many
things...but my favourite find was noticing
that the bark of the walnut trees are covered
with lime coloured moss and this makes me happy.

Mesmerizing Starlings - Rome

wow-beautiful

i heard this lovely phrase today
in a french song........

"i will offer you pearls of rain"

Blooming

Yesterday I took a trip to the Boston Flower Show
I must say that many people were dissapointed..
I on the other hand loved it. It was simple and beautiful

a bird and her shoes

When my weight begins
to rise , I find myself putting on my
favourite shoes..silly maybe, but this
has always been true.

I am not sure why my weight has risen so rapidly
okay maybe I do, for about four months I thought
there was hope of a little one, although the circumstances
would have been difficult.....the possibility of it made me
happy, even for a while I got lost in it, my version of a novels
happy ending...but it was not meant to be.
Now it is time to get back to size.... I like working at it, I like that
when i put the right foods in my body, my skin and hair and the shape
of my body begins to feel more feminine to me....
it's time once again to be true to myself and my secret wants, even if some
of them are a little vain.

lumiere

rain & love

I am lucky to have all the windows over look
the garden..when rain falls things seem extra
special to me. I played with sophie all morning
she is beautiful and ever so loving. It is amazing
how perfectt she is, she is truly the combination of Jacob
and Porter...when I am with her it is like they are still here
with me..........I am lucky to be staying in on
this rainy day with sophie