About Me

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i moved where my heart had drifted off to long before. i live on a hill of hundred acres, where my dreams have merged with the view. it is quiet from machine noises yet loud with sounds of horses, dogs, cats chickens and ducks. nature is the true artist in resident and i am just her apprentice who often gets lost in her gaze. once and a while i travel back to cities and foreign places to put into photographs what i have learned, yet always, part of my heart is left on the hill..

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

This is me and I am made of wool

This morning I woke up and found myself dancing in the living
Room, witch was odd, not the dancing I love dancing and do it randomly around my house, but the fact I was doing it even though I was filled with
Sadness. I did not give much thought till
This evening when water filled my eyes so quickly. I started to think about things…

All my life pretty much I have done everything I could to live the truth
Even if that meant not agreeing or hurting the people around me don’ get me wrong I think I did a pretty good job not intentionally hurting or causing pain to others. I think
What has been the toughest thing for me the last year and half love is in the difference of our childhoods and backgrounds. in my life I was a witness to lies and the consequences that came from them, my parents chose to live life in a lie not that they told a lies necessary, but that they chose not to live the truth
And in doing so they sacrificed a lot, hurt themselves and the people around them…and finally when they could bare it no longer they decided to live truer existence they chose to live life. I was there and there lies effected me and when I saw the freedom that came with living a truer life I truly saw how much they sacrificed
And now I know how they wished they could have done it sooner,because some things passed them by.

My love, it is the lie that has started to decay the lining of my heart,
Nothing is wrong with our truth, nothing. I am surrounded with you, him and her who choose to live in the lie, denying the truth because they think the truth would bring them more pain, but it wont I know, I truly know……

Whether we are together or not, it is you living a lie that I can not bare. to love you is to want you to live the truest life possible, that is our right, I heard said today, and before that by Thoreau give me experiences, family, success even love but without truth I can not live, I know this love, I know this …….
No one judges a man who wants to live a true life but he will forever judge himself for living an untrue one…………………….

So I think I danced in my living room this morning because I realized that I truely loved you enough to let you
go, we always laughed at cliche but I finaly understood this one............

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