About Me

My photo
i moved where my heart had drifted off to long before. i live on a hill of hundred acres, where my dreams have merged with the view. it is quiet from machine noises yet loud with sounds of horses, dogs, cats chickens and ducks. nature is the true artist in resident and i am just her apprentice who often gets lost in her gaze. once and a while i travel back to cities and foreign places to put into photographs what i have learned, yet always, part of my heart is left on the hill..

Friday, July 18, 2008

life and the lessons

sometime ago i learned that looking beautiful was less important than feeling beautiful, I use to follow the trend( okay i had my twist on it) whether the fabrics were real or artificial, in my mind it looked good so i just did it... but eventually it became uncomfortable to fake it...I discovered i was at my best when i put on the finest and purest of things on my skin or at least as best as i could, i even shared my philosophy with others. At the same time i learned other things as well- that actions spoke louder than words. I was always perplexed by the saying of our youth "sticks and stones will hurt your bones but names will never hurt me" because they always did. false promises, lie whether they were little or big..i would always wonder why people could just not say anything till they knew for sure.

Now i am not innocent, the last few years, i lied- i lied to myself in the biggest of ways, i promised things that i could no longer deliver, yet i blamed myself and only myself for it. This brings me to another life lesson unfortunately I have had this one taught to me many times in my life........that some men confuse the words "i did want i wanted" with "i did the best i could"

I just want to say like hell you did! (not even one promise, not even one)


Sara said...

it's hard sometimes to share things so close to our hearts, and as I've been reading the last couple posts here, I can't help but think how brave you are for letting those feelings out. I hope you feel peace soon and remember how many people adore you- we really are lucky to have an outlet like this to express ourselves, but I know how vulnerable I feel sometimes sharing certain emotions. love you!

Absolutely Fabulous said...

love the photo nadia. and i hear you... i hear myself too. i embrace the fact that i have this expression through words, thoughts and art (photography) , right away, things become a bit easier. :)

onesilentwinter said...

thanks you guys, I want you to know that I am happier than i have been in a very long while. I do go through stages, that for some reason this is the place that i let things go...

I always what to end post like this- by saying please forgive my veniting dear friends i truly know how lucky i am adn how greatful i am for all my experiences, heart ache and adventures!

Tartelette said...

It's not venting if it is done with such creativity. I do not know you but through your posts your soul makes me think of that of Camille Claudel. That is the mental image I have everytime I try to put a face on the blog.