About Me

My photo
i moved where my heart had drifted off to long before. i live on a hill of hundred acres, where my dreams have merged with the view. it is quiet from machine noises yet loud with sounds of horses, dogs, cats chickens and ducks. nature is the true artist in resident and i am just her apprentice who often gets lost in her gaze. once and a while i travel back to cities and foreign places to put into photographs what i have learned, yet always, part of my heart is left on the hill..

Thursday, July 17, 2008

if i died today

i would not have a had a chance to see the seeds I planted bloom
i would not have held your hand tight and whispered in your ear i love you
i would not have said goodbye to the kids
i would not have take my mum to New York and you to alaska
i would have died fat
i would not have gotten sophie to come when i called
i would have not told karen to be less aggressive, less controlling, less noise
i would not have told cynthia to let the plants grow and trust in my opinion
I would have not told you how( just thinking about you now makes me mad)
I would not have given enough back
i would not have written a perfect piece
I would not have had your family over for dinner
I would have not set gina free
I would not have had enough time to tell you how good you have been to me my love and
my friend, i would have not had a chance to tell you to be good to sophie
I would not have had a chance to see my brother recover
and my sister become the person she has dreamt of being.....i would not have had a chance to tell her that she lovely the way she is
i would have not had a chance to sing you one last silly song and make you chicken nachos.

7 comments:

JanelleGrace said...

I don't know if I can say anything that will happen to the heartfelt sincerity in this post.

dia said...

my gosh, this is a question that sure got me thinking: if I die today?
I wish that I would have loved more than hated, forgave more than punished, cared more than ignored. laughed, cried, blessed, cursed... all the ins and outs of every day... because the list will never get smaller everyday adds to it or change the aspects of it. somethings that seemed so important today, will only have us shrug our shoulders tomorrow and so goes life.

heidi said...

just don't die today. ok?

corine said...

I wish I knew you in real life.

onesilentwinter said...

corine, your comment has touched me.

thank you everyone!

sofia barĂ£o said...

this is so beautiful and I often think about death, mine and others. Because I've already lost 2of my most precious persons I love, I often think about it this way too but in the other way : my mother died and she never saw....

onesilentwinter said...

sofia