saturday road. - I am going on an adventure, the open road. A small one, just a day really but life can change in a minute so image a whole day full of minutes…..
- i moved where my heart had drifted off to long before. i live on a hill of hundred acres, where my dreams have merged with the view. it is quiet from machine noises yet loud with sounds of horses, dogs, cats chickens and ducks. nature is the true artist in resident and i am just her apprentice who often gets lost in her gaze. once and a while i travel back to cities and foreign places to put into photographs what i have learned, yet always, part of my heart is left on the hill..
Saturday, November 22, 2008
i am staring out the window of the car, barely any leaves left on the trees yet the sun shines bright i am following it with my eyes. he is looking at me while he drives and i try not to think about it. he says my name and i like how it sounds but i keep looking out the window. i want to tell him to stop the car, get out and hold me but i don't. he is staring at me i could feel it I want to say stop but i don't because that is a beginning of a dangerous conversation, then i think of you and i hate it and makes me angry that you have somehow entered my thoughts and this car. i stare hard out the window now and there is boys playing football and i want to tell them to be better than their highest expectations... he says my name again and now i just want this car to stop and i want to be on the outside of it but all i could say is 'i hope it snows'...he says you look like snow. i can't respond. he is quiet now as the car begins to slow then stop. we are here now but i don't want to get out and somehow i have forgotten how to breathe but i can't stay so i step out and as i do my voice begins to crack and i don't stare back at him-as i say, can you hold me but he does'nt hear me and he says can you say it again please but i can't .....