you are not him

i saw you there, dressed like him in your long black coat and hat, i tried not to look and for a moment or two it worked. but when i turned again i saw, it was you. i wanted to cross the street, i wanted to disappear so i started walking fast thinking how can this be. when i said goodbye i thought it meant you would seize to exist i believed it, naive of me i know, but wasn't i all along. all i could think about as i rushed through the darkened city streets, please, please, i don't want to hear your voice i don't want you to look at me and i at you ..now i realized i was running and all the night lights where playing with me. then i heard it, my name my heart ached instantly as feet stopped, my body begged for mercy. i knew you were right there behind me and tears began to fall, then your hand touched my back as i turned around- it wasn't you, him was not you i stood there with tears among the traffic lights, cars and watched my heart fall to the sidewalk floor..all of it, to much...