dear mike

i have been whispering this to you everyday. it is all i think about. i am so sorry for the discomfort i have caused. it is not tolsoy fault. you see we did not do it right, i did not listen to my gut but instead to people with big egos who did not do it the right way but instead they did it their way. I know i am taking care of you but i know you liked it the way it was and all though it will never be exactly the same it will be good again very soon.

you see tolstoy was in a line and was going to be slaughtered. he was in line to be a piece of meat on someones plate for someone in a foreign land, ones that are not foreign to me canada and japan two places i have loved dearly but i can not understand at this time. so you see he was in line being sold to the highest bidder "the meat guy" but he was saved because someone stopped it put their hand in their pocket pulled out a few dollars and saved him. he is here now, and i know it was shocking but it was not his fault, and i have been fighting to keep him here, he is loving and gentle but scared like you. it was not his fault but mine for not speaking up. mike everyday, three times a day i find you and clarabelle you come to me with so much love even though you have been banned by the pecking order (tolstoy) you come to me and i see how grateful you are and it touches me so.

at dusk today the air was so calm and warm. the sky was doing it's thing and you came to me and gave more love that i could have ever imagine possible from an animal (and most humans) and i cried all the way back to the house how is it that i have disrubt your life and yet you still take care of me...