cold

i am laying down, air and a thin layer of plastic separates me from the wet ground. i can not sleep tonight, that is nothing new except for i am cold. i look at the dogs covered in fur and he next to me that snores, he is not cold. i pull the zipper of my sleeping bag but i have long ago reached the end. i move around and even stretch, i am still cold. i begin to wish the morning would come but in the same thought i think how if it does he will be gone so i stop wishing. for i have learned that with every wish come true another unforeseen thing is taken away. i am not to be trusted in these matters anymore, so i stop wishing. curled up now in the fetal position i do the only thing i know how, go to that place in my mind. i am warm there in fact i am on my knees, my hands and fingernails full of dirt. the garden looks good, it should i have gone there many times. a voice a sweet voice calls out to me "maman can i help you" smiling now i will no longer wish or think of wishing for morning
i like it here....