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i moved where my heart had drifted off to long before. i live on a hill of hundred acres, where my dreams have merged with the view. it is quiet from machine noises yet loud with sounds of horses, dogs, cats chickens and ducks. nature is the true artist in resident and i am just her apprentice who often gets lost in her gaze. once and a while i travel back to cities and foreign places to put into photographs what i have learned, yet always, part of my heart is left on the hill..

Friday, January 16, 2009

left them


The other day while sitting in a cafe my husband pointed to a story in the newspaper and asked me if i had hear about it, i said no so he proceeded to begin within the first sentence i asked him to stop and even though we where in a public place i immediately started to cry. I was angry at him and asked him why he thought i would want to hear about that..

I used to listen to the news(never local), read the new york times and visit my independent media sites, i was on top of things- i had to be my clients expected it from me. But it has been at-least year now, that i barely have the stomach for anything but a comedy at the theater...

i am not naive about what is going on out there i do get informed. But nothing prepared me for the story that my husband had begun to tell and i have not been able to get it out of my mind, i t has profoundly altered my thoughts. as I stated before i had my husband stop telling me of the story just a second after he began, i do not know the ages, race, state.. in-fact nothing really except the following i must warn you i have decided to write this in my blog because of personal need..but you might not want to read the next paragraph or two.

On christmas day a father was driving his daughter and son to there mothers house in the bitter cold when his car got stuck in a snow drift. He told his kids that they should begin walking the ten miles remaining to there mothers house, the daughter or more so the way i play it in my head the sister died along the way and the brother was severely damaged. the father got out the snow drift and proceed to go back to his house when he received a call from the mother asking where the children were. that is the extent of what i know. I can not stop seeing the brother and sister walk this mountains highway stretch.. what was it like, what did they say to each other, did he try did she try.........
I tried to make peace with all of this, but what right do i have. I completely lost, i want to help them, hold them. i want keep them safe, hold there hand or perhaps lay with her and show her that she was not alone but she was, he was..........

i can not stop thinking about them....did she find something to hold onto in her mind..before her eyes closed...oh god who are you and why would you allow this...

5 comments:

dia said...

As heart wrenching as this is, we cannot blame this one on God, sweetheart, this falls strictly into human kind selfishness & stupidity.. we take the easier road, the most convenient, often without even stopping for a minute & weighing the consequences. how sad & what a waste.

corine said...

This story was the saddest, the most heart-wrenching. It made me sick SICK.

They say that when you die of cold you simply drift into sleep, so I hang on to that thought.

But the mother....

f2images said...

Very sad. You never like to imagine people suffering, although sometimes it is part of life and death. It's a little hard to form a full opinion (not judgement) without knowing more details, but what I can say is that every moment in life is precious. Hopefully what we can glean from this, is to live each moment to the fullest. I think people have regrets more about what they did NOT do, than something they did wrong. Thank you for sharing this story and opening your heart to us.

Georgia B. said...

i'm sorry, Nadia.

i am having a difficult and dark day. i came here for comfort. not that i find comfort in this story. but i find comfort in your thoughts and that this affected you the way it does. i don't understand. i wish i could, and i wish i had something to say about God and why he would let this happen. but i honestly don't know. i only know that i believe he is sovereign. that might not make sense. but it is just what i believe in my heart.

but i am still truly saddened by this story the way you were. i appreciate your openness and honesty.

josephine said...

oh dear nadia, you're just like me. a story like that would disturb me for days. just know that now they are at peace.