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i moved where my heart had drifted off to long before. i live on a hill of hundred acres, where my dreams have merged with the view. it is quiet from machine noises yet loud with sounds of horses, dogs, cats chickens and ducks. nature is the true artist in resident and i am just her apprentice who often gets lost in her gaze. once and a while i travel back to cities and foreign places to put into photographs what i have learned, yet always, part of my heart is left on the hill..

Friday, February 10, 2012

i miss her

sometimes memories come when you least expect them.
today  i thought about  my grandmother, how i wish to be back
in the days where i thought everyone i loved was immortal. my thoughts
carried me to a time where she would ask me how i was doing, i thought
about when she would say j ai envie de quelques chose de bon.( i crave something good) me too, me too. i am not sure how i would answer the question now, i hardly remember if back then
i would say the truth or just bits of it. today i would  be too honest,  and that would make
no one happy. i miss that time for so many reasons, but most of all her.

2 comments:

Host Family Coordinator said...

me too, I miss the confidence that everyone I needed would always be there (“immortal”, you said it better). there is the loss of grandma as she was at the very end, and the bigger loss is who she was to me as a child.

Imagine you will fly... said...

... only bits of the truth seems very considerate because grandmothers take on their loved one’s pain ... but ... on the other hand it’s a privilege to be entrusted with the truth ... as a grandmother i’d prefer the closeness of trust and truth ... to not having to feel my loved one’s pain.

... we had a large mirror hanging in our staircase showing people full size ... one day i walked up the stairs forlorn in my thoughts and while passing by took a glimpse into the mirror ... shocks: “what was my grandmother doing here?...!”

... i didn’t know we had such resemblance ...