bird

move along dear friend. push, pull but do not tug.
i shall become a bird, you will find me by your window.
i will fly when you come near but sing when you are calm.
are you calm, are you still.

lying in the snow

i could feel the cold through the glass as i sit at the cafe
and type. I am all over the place trying to find inspiration.
there is plenty out there, but i am a little lost as of late.

sometimes i am afraid that feeling so much made me loose the ability
to feel.

perhaps if i layed in the snow out there, the cold and wet of it might wake some of my senses, then perhaps the people that would stare out the window and point at me would trigger humalation or maybe i would just think to myself yup thats me lying in the snow like a seven year old. whispers of what is she doing, is she okay.. would be heard. as i would stand and walk back to the table where my laptop rest and mocha awaits, i would stare and no one..and simply proceed as usually. just thinking of it makes me feel free and different.

i need the winter and the snow to stay for a while longer...

stay a while longer

no not the same

you asked if my smile was the same
and if my hair was still long
a second later you asked if my eyes still sparkled
and if my skin was still rosey and pale...

you asked me why i as was so quiet, you said hello
hello in the receiver as if the line got diconnected

disconnected, yes.

those things no longer apply to me, perhaps the long hair..
but i still drink mochas, read russian litterature, i have two dogs but there not the same ones, i know longer practice, i cry when i am happy and now i cry when i am sad and sometimes when i am mad and i am all those things a lot of the time.

trying to convince you i am not made of stone

i started this blog a year ago, it was a place of my very own, a place i could write things that troubled me; pain, heartache and loss. it was also a place where i discovered that in those things lay something beautiful something that cried desperately to live again fully.

it is a year now and not too much has changed yet nothing is the same, i walk around as if i made of stone and that i will not be affected by peoples actions or words- then feel my heart ache when ohers treat me like so.

i am not made out stone, i am not made out of stone iam not made out of stone... i am not

she continues

a stroll among the blooms

part of this stroll

tiny little happenings

when the clouds come to your window

Yesterday I decided to take a walk. I walk

often sometimes several times a day, it was just beyond

dusk. I love walking around the blvd, among the giant

house and pedicured lawns, but it is historic so it does not seem as bad

as it sounds.(many are clients), but this evening I thought it was best

to walk elsewhere. after walking for at least an hour and a half I found

myself at water fire. Water fire is an event that providence does well,

fire on the canal, with Gondolas, beautiful haunting music, jazz stages,

food vendors and so on., happens at least a dozen times in the summer

into fall.I will take photographs next time. Anyways I stopped at the Jazz stage for a while listened- I am a sucker for the Cello and base. Then I walked some more and spotted a band, folk Israel band playing(although I did not know that at the time) about 8 men where dancing, what I believed to be Greek style arm in arm round and round dancing as the music played faster, before I knew it I was pulled into this circle yes me and 8 men who knew what they where doing and a girl who had no idea what was  about to happen. We dance like this in this large circle spinning so quickly that I am sure many times my feet did not even touch the ground, I was dizzy for sure, and I had not eaten in very long while and was living on too many espresso that day. I want to tell you that the experience and the timing was absolutely delightful and necessary ...my legs felt like jello for the rest of my walk- but i came out of this spinning motion leaving a lot of what had been troubling me behind. The reason I chose to write this experience down, was in case I forget it- you might say how is that possible, but recently I have realized that I and others are quickly able to for get happy moments and find the more difficult ones the ones harder to forget.

windows

seventeen to be exact, oh how wonderful!

your path

I have never been one to follow
or take a path because it was easier?
wouldn't it be great if we each had little arrows that
pertained to us"nadia go this way and then that way"

Recently I realized that somehow I had become a follower
of some sort. I have learned a few things, some of it at very early age
that if someone wiser than you has gone down that path and said
that it is not a good one-just don't go and if someone is slowing
you down and pointing to direction that only works for them-
go find that arrow with your name.oh and nadia run!

a morning drive

This morning after a bad dream I found myself awake at five am,
I looked outside my window and saw thick fog in my garden. I
knew I wanted to hop into my car and take photographs so I did
by the time I reached the area I wanted the fog had disappeared,
but I was able to capture these two shots.

Lets take a walk in the woods

" I am going to take you somewhere you have not been before" I love hearing those words ...I had a very nice time
exploring this new found place, marble, moss, new life everywhere....the temperature could not have been more perfect, trees so high you could easily trip from looking up......tiny rivers and stone walls....it was really great to be out there or is it in there (forest) the best part of it was no one else was there.



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