Oxygen and Blood

Today, I must tell you I came very close to giving it all up with the hope of finding clarity, when a thought came to me. This thought stood right in front of me and refused to leave till I promised to understand it and follow it. I could tell for a few days now that something was going to let go, crash or simply break and it did today. It is the kind of break that releases pressure and confusion and allows you to finally take that along awaited breath............. I am excited, nervous and yet I feel calm........ Upon returning home, for a tiny moment of relaxation i found this e-mail from someone I have never met, yet he has strangely given me the peace and kindness i had forgotten was possible. I hope he doesn't mind me sharing it..because for now this letter is the tree i rest under

(no matter what I write or say not one single moment is not for you,love...it is only that you will never comprehend the turmoil and pain I often find myself in and how quickly I go from a happiness I have never known to a pain i desperately wish would cease to exist...I know you will judge me and when doing so you will feel some relief..but I will say this I hope that you never turn your judgement towards yourself it would rip you my love ...I know you must be thinking why am I saying this here in this somewhat anonymous way ..it is simply where I found the courage

I will call him kindman......... to me Aug 31 Mrs.

First, I would like to say to you that my english is very bad. I am Quebecer (before to be Canadian, because my language and my culture are differents of the rest of the country). So, as you saw it on my blog Le cahier des saisons, my name is .............., I live in Québec city, I speak french, I write in french, I live in french every day. For it, I hope you are going to excuse that bad expression about what I mean. I am writing to you, you that I do not know, to say thank you very, very much to visited my blog (you know, in french we can write «blogue») Le cahier des saisons. I was very happy to read your so nice words about what I have written. I read two or three times your little comment. A comment looking like a quiet and small flower. You are gentle. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. But (because there is a «but») I was very surprised that you could read my texts! Here is the question: you understand french? You can read in french? Maybe you can understand french but you are unable to write it? However, you wrote a few words in my language. And I understood it! It is amazing and great! I have a few things to say to you. First, is it possible that I know your name? If not, forget it. I just do not want to disturb you, of course. Secondly, I want to tell you that I also visited your blog onesilentwinter . Very, very vice «place of your own». I liked the artistic atmosphere you built, a blend of so delicious words and photos full of sense based on a kind of freedom. Your blog is inviting. It seems I walk in the border of the reality, and I do love it. Very nice blog. Finally, I noted we have a some similar preferences (really, I apologize for my bad way to express what I want to say to you) as arts, literature, Tolstoï (or Tolstoy in english), classical music (but I like Diana Krall too), Camille Claudel (did you see the french movie called Camille Claudel?) and maybe other things, I do not know. Have a nice day. Again, thank you. Bye.